Fasting and the light

I have been fasting now for over 24 hours.
It is hard. This is not a race with time, nor a flag waving festival.
Scripture tells me to refrain from speaking about it, but since I have had
such a remarkable experience with it, I want to write it down.
I am hungry right now.
I find that one of the things I struggle with most is emotional eating.
Not only that, but, food becomes a source of control for me.
It makes me feel safe.
As I have fasted, I have found my speech patterns have even changed, moving from alien and lathergic to more realistic and honest.
There is nothing to hide from.
Food allows us to hide.
It allows me to hide.
Food, for me, helps me cover over shame that I may feel about a certain issue.
Whatever it may be, food can often come to the rescue.
As I have given up food, I have noticed how free my mind is to worship, to pray, to encourage, and to forgive.
My mind is also filled with darkness and challange, during fasting.
Do not get the idea that I am becoming more holy.
I am simply writing what I notice.
Not only that, the practice of fasting leads to more deeper awareness of God's presence in and around.
It is so obvious.
As I drove today, I noticed how tedious or cars are. I noticed the fuss that people put into driving, talking on phones, and all of the things that distract us.
The funny this is that we do not even know that we are distracted.
That is the purpose of an idol anyway.
It keeps our eyes veiled.
The true place of worship--God--does the opposite of the idol.
It opens our eyes to the light.
This is why the beloved disciple said that Jesus was the "light."
Not only was Jesus a source of physical "light," as if a resonating lite bulbin a dark basement--Jesus was The LIGHT.
He was not a light, but, The Light behind all the lights.

At the end of the day, I am diminished by fasting. I realize how pompous I am, all large underneath my veneer. I am so prideful, and it is pitiful.
I must remember these wonderful words.

"Do not confuse man -this image of God - with the evil which is in him, because evil is only his accidental misfortune, a sickness, a devil's dream; but man's essence - the image of God - is always there".